Bad workplaces. We’ve all had them, right? Not enough home/work life balance. Long hours. Not enough pay.

What happens when your workplace is so bad it affects your mental health to the point of a bad anxiety episodes and you can’t sleep; eventually leading to another health condition becoming worse?

We’ve all had bad bosses. We’ve all had shitty jobs.

I got to experience the worst job experience I have had in my over a decade in the workforce. It was 3 years and it was fine… until it wasn’t.

I will not disclose this place of work, but I will say it was a call center. I have heard bad things about call centers, but how is it an employee of 5-7 years will leave, how sexual harassment is not adequately addressed and workplace bullying is tolerated in a place where you ask to move desks because you no longer feel safe at your current desk?

This call center was lead by the worst kind of person: a narcisstic washed up former rock star who was promoted to the peak of his ability in the workplace.

I began working there in March/April 2019. I am a very quick learner. I got through training quickly and only had a few issues with the clientele – most of them insulting my intelligence because they didn’t like the company policy – your stereotypical “Karen.” My job was relatively easy: answer the phone, enter the order if it is an order, solve customer issues. Effective and good customer service. I never had an issue with this. I was good at my job. I was helping people and I liked helping people.

The issues started with sexual harassment. I was new to the office and this guy would not take the hint. I didn’t wanna be his friend or hear him talk about him cheating on his wife. Open relationships and ethical non-monogamy is one thing, blatantly cheating on your wife (who was pregnant at the time) is very different. I, myself, am polyamorous. And you can still cheat while being poly and open – it’s called boundaries. You can have them.

This guy was told after an outburst where Washed Up Rockstar heard me across the office tell the guy “you’re a fucking asshole.” to stop speaking to me. It didn’t stop and I was very new, this guy had seniority, and I needed this job. It was paying double what my previous job had paid.

“You should have said something!” I did. Numerous times. Washed Up Rockstar was the director of customer service. He was my direct boss’ boss. I went to Washed Up, I went to my direct manager – who brought it to Washed Up. I went to another manager, who brought it to Washed Up. Seems like Washed Up didn’t want to do anything about it.

Until the Sexual Harasser got allegedly physical with a new hire. And took videos of this new hire. Now, this comes directly from the new hire and she isn’t exactly credible, but I also saw him try to get close with every. single. female. new hire.

Sexual harassment aside, let’s move on to the Office Bully. This woman was quoted as saying “If I don’t like you, you won’t be here long” by a relatively credible source. And this source went to Washed Up and reported it. The source is approximate 10-15 years older than myself and trained people for a living before moving to this call center and now makes double training people 3 days a week.

Office Bully cornered me in a bathroom because she overheard me tell management to please have her keep my name out of her mouth. I wasn’t here to make friends and I don’t appreciate being gossiped about. She told me “next time I won’t be so nice.” Now, her and Washed Up have an unusually close relationship and it was weird that she would not be reprimanded or anything, despite people reporting her to management.

Again, I was relatively new, didn’t want to rock the boat, and frankly I was still dealing with the sexual harassment and didn’t want to be seen as “drama seeking” because I was threatened while I was urinating.

Before I left this job, the last thing Office Bully did was pick a fight with one of the new hires and it almost came to blows. They went into Washed Up’s office, had a screaming match and guess who was let go: the new hire.

Washed Up bred a drama-filled work environment where it was impossible to have anything done if an issue arose.

In roughly the later end of 2020, Washed Up’s boss took personal leave from the company and I assume that he may have been expecting a promotion, which he didn’t get when his boss came back and everything got worse. Washed Up got worse.

I typically was never called into his office, unless I was going in there to get some sort of clearance or my managers didn’t have a good answer to fixing the customer’s issue I was trying to solve. This wasn’t often, more often than not, I had the autonomy to fix issues. It was great.

Now starting March 2021, I asked off some time during the week of my birthday in May because my best friend of 20+ years needed 6 weeks advance notice – she works in a vetinary ICU. Makes sense right? It was approved same day – my only mistake was not getting it in writing, which I would learn to get everything in writing.

Come the week of my birthday, I get an email from my direct supervisor telling me “we can’t give you these dates we cleared you for 6 weeks ago because blah blah blah.” I reply, “I can’t change my plans, I have people coming in to town and travelling – this is the first time I am seeing my best friend since 2019.” He sends it to Washed Up. Washed Up calls me into the office. I go, expecting him to be apologetic. Nope. He decided to tell me “I didn’t approve this. You will have to be here.”

I tell him I am more than willing to help with the workload once I return (literally a Tuesday during a M-F schedule) but I will not be there the Friday before nor the Monday after as I asked 6 weeks in advance on purpose due to the nature of my best friend’s job. He blew up at me and told me “the marketing team did this and that and I should be a team player.” Keep in mind, it was 2 days, plus a weekend. I reiterated “I am more than willing to help on May X, when I return, but I asked 6 weeks in advance and could not change the plans on a whim. I am sorry, but I will not be at work Friday or Monday.”

It turned into him yelling at me for probably 20-30 minutes to the point where I went back to my desk and my manager – who was present – decided to walk over to my desk and ask me to go into the conference room. Once I got into the conference room and sat down, my manager apologized for his manager’s unprofessional behavior.

The outcome, after I went through my emails and found management approving my request and sent it to Washed Up and my direct manager was “you’re getting the time off, are you not happy?” I shouldn’t have to fight for time off approved 6 weeks prior, but okay. It really soured my birthday because it was the Wednesday before the Friday I had off.

This kind of behavior would escalate and escalate until October when Office Bully would almost come to blows 2 desks away from me. I went into Washed Up’s office, as direct manager was on vacation, and asked to be moved as I felt unsafe. He tried to talk me out of it, but I told him that if he did not move me, I would have to speak to HR about the inaction in regards to page 48 of our employee handbook in regards to workplace violence. I was really fed up at this point. He had been calling me in over silly things “Office Bully said this about your performance on the team I placed you on despite you telling me the two of you don’t work well together” and “This person said you staying late makes them uncomfortable.” Staying late. Finishing work. Because sometimes I had a phone call at 4:58 when I clock out at 5, and after I hang up at 5:28, I had some finishing notes to add, or to email a manager about something they assisted with. Sure, okay.

I was moved and promised to be working with this other person who I was excited to work with. I would be learning a new system and I was look forward to it. I often asked a lot about how certain aspects of our company so if a customer asked, I would have an answer (this would bite me in the ass this past January). Well, I was moved and for 3 months nothing was done to teach me this new system. I went to the girl in charge of that aspect of the call center and she told me “I asked Washed Up, and he said next week.” For 3 months.

Let’s go back a bit, late July to probably early August 2021, I was having some abnormal knee issues. I have always had a small knee issue, no matter if I was 100 pounds or if I was 200. But this? This was something I have never ever experienced. I was completely immobile for 5/10 days in a two week period of work, plus the weekend. I literally could not move. I managed to get to work at some point, got a doctor’s appointment set (I actually had shitty insurance, so it was worth it to go and at least get checked – early onset arthritis is a thing in my family) but I was not moving very quickly. And my management team was well aware, I kept them updated on my condition and I felt bad. It was our busy season, but I was unable to leave my bed. My roommate had to help me to and from the bathroom and there were a lot of tears involved to move. No amount of heating pads, ice pads, nothing helped. I was okay if I was soaking in a borderline boiling bath. But that’s not normal. This wasn’t normal. Previously, I had only been this close the one summer I went to Florida my graduation trip to Universal and to visit family. The Midwest isn’t that hot and humid. So it wasn’t the weather.

So for 2 weeks, I was very late to work because I live on the second floor, and I had to sit on the stone stairs and scoot myself down them and somehow figure out a way to my car across the sidewalk. Now, I want to remind you, this was mid 2021, I caught COVID and worked from home late 2020. We had the capability to work from home and I asked about it a lot during these 3 weeks between the onset of my immobility and getting on the medication to help me manage the issue. My management team was aware of my mobility issues. I talked to them about it as I told them it may make me late – especially pre-diagnosis.

I went three weeks from beginning of August to mid August like this. Washed Up would drag me into his office and berate me for being 5-10 min late (we had a 10 min grace period before we were counted late, so 8:40 should have been okay). Keep in mind, walking was not easy for me. When I went to use the rest room, it would take me a little longer than normal because I was unable to walk properly. I was pulled into his office for “extra long breaks” as well.

Now, mid August, I got some news – I have an autoimmune issue. And my doctor wasn’t sure what had caused it. So from August, until I left the company in Jan, I was going for blood tests and testing to figure out what the fresh fuck was wrong with me. All my doctor knew was that stress was making my knee issues worse.

I told my management that while I was on a treatment plan, I would like to look into working from home – as it would make it easier to perform duties and everything in my apartment was closer (i.e bathroom, “break room” etc). I was told no. Come to find out down the road, straight from Washed Up’s mouth, it is because (as he put it) others can’t be trusted to work and it was an all or nothing thing. This was not applied to Office Bully when her boyfriend wrecked her car and they had another car but she was allowed to work from home (and on Sundays when we were not allotted overtime, apparently).

I was continuously late. No matter how early I left – I would hit traffic or my body would be extra bad that day (autoimmune disease combined with a stomach disease is really inconvenient). I was late. Then Washed Up – not my direct manager – would pull me into his office, all the way across the call center. So I had to limp from one end to the other.

One day I had really had enough when he decided me “bathroom breaks” were taking too long. SO I asked him “are you asking me to stop drinking water or stop using the rest room?” He was caught off guard. Because I very rarely talked back. It had been a relatively rough couple of days where I broke down crying in pain from my knees the day before, been told my brother had COVID and my dad had been diagnosed asymptomatic COVID.

“Well I am not asking you to do that.” So I asked him what a good solution was because at that point, I had asked for accommodation and was denied. And he suggested (with the office manager present) he speaks to HR about further accommodation. I told him that was fine. Please CC on the email you send HR, as I would like to be updated. Well, this was never done.

Now comes January 2022, where I was mentally fried by this Washed Up jerk and his temper tantrums. He pulled me into his office for something I had absolute nothing to do with – I was just the unfortunate drone to update the notations on this customer’s order. And he questioned me about it. Before I could even finish answering him he asked me something else, and I asked, politely as I could, honestly, “Could you please not interrupt me when I am answering your question?” You thought I had gotten up and slapped him across the face before slamming his face into his pretentious desk. He went off on me. The office manager stepped in and told him “sometimes we are not listening when we are speaking.”

It was then I did something worse than asking him not to interrupt me – I asked him if we were finished. At this point in my employment with this company, I was looking for new jobs and taken days off to go get interviewed by other companies. I knew that the stress from Washed Up was only making my mobility worse. How could I be so sure, aside from my doctor telling me about the correlation of stress and my knees? I had changed everything about my diet, exercise (the little I could do) and was doing treatment and some physical therapy. It was a dog and pony show. Washed Up was trying to fire me after he fired the only other hardworker I have had the pleasure of working with.

When I asked him if we were finished, I was working on a relatively time sensitive thing for an account manager. If this DC Area account manager did not hear from me within the hour, she would start calling the call center trying to get a hold of me and emailing me incessantly. Clogging up the phones and filling my inbox with spam for an update. I really didn’t want to deal with that. I loved our account managers, but this one was very very particular.

Well, this pissed him off because not even 10 minutes into me working on this time sensitive thing I had to get finished, Washed Up called me back into his office, with the office manager. And at this point I was real reaal done with this nonsense. I took my phone and as where I live is a single party consent state, it was more of a courtesy to inform for recording. I wanted to record how this man was speaking to me. I was tired and he was hindering my job.

Well, he really didn’t like me telling him “Due to the fact that our meeting ended hostilely, I am informing you that I will be recording this meeting for the sake of keeping us on track.” It was for my own safety as well. He flipped out. Told me “You cannot record me without consent.” He was from California which is a 2 party state, which I informed him than the state we were located in was a one-party state and it was a courtesy to inform him, but for this time, I will not record. He tried to send me home early for my “attitude.” And it took me asking him 8 times “what about my attitude is justifying this decision?” Until he relented and told me “You told me to be quiet.”

I reminded him that I had asked him to not interrupt me while I answered him, as it was counter productive to solving the issue he was trying to solve. He tried to tell me I told him to be quiet. So I turned to the office manager, who had been present, and asked her “Did I tell him to be quiet or not to interrupt me?” Well, she answered honestly. That I asked him not to interrupt.

He then went on to tell me I had been sleeping at my desk, which he had been informed my medicines make me very drowsy, so I used my two 10 minute breaks to sleep and then I would rarely eat during lunch since August, opting to sleep. This is where the office manager came in because her and my direct supervisor and I had a meeting about my long breaks blah blah blah same shit. And I was told, I was completely in my right to sleep on my breaks. So I turned to her, again, and asked “do you remember the meeting with Supervisor where you and him both assured me that as long as I did not oversleep my breaks – which was done once prior to that meeting due to my watch being dead – I was well within my right to sleep?” You bet her asscheeks she remembered.

After she answered I looked at Washed Up and asked him “If you pull my times, with the exception of the last week in December, I have not overslept my breaks. Additionally, I have informed you, without needing to due to HIPPA, that my medications make me very drowsy.” He didn’t like this. He then tried to bring up a day I didn’t have a note from a phlebotomist about getting my blood drawn at my doctor’s office. I had a note with my sensitive information (blood pressure, blood count, etc) blocked out, but all relevant information was there proving I went to the doctor’s that day. That I had been there and all the information necessary. I reminded him that a note from the lovely ladies who drew my blood was not needed as it happened in the building my doctor’s office and radiologist occupied and I was told that that note covered the entire building. I even verified with HR that it was an acceptable form of doctor’s note.

I was sent to my desk and the rest of the day went off with no issues. I mean he stewed in his office. I would later leave the company in mid January because it wasn’t worth it anymore. And then several other employees would leave after wards, including my direct Supervisor and the office Manager. And another one of my coworkers who has been there for 5ish years is now also looking for a new job because he was not even given a yearly review.

So, how does all this nonsense circle back to the beginning? I saw Washed Up at my local grocery store. And it triggered one of the oddest anxiety attacks I ever experienced. I have anxiety and suffer from c-PTSD. Most days if I experience a trigger, I typically am good at masking and going about my day. I wasn’t able to do that. Luckily I was getting ready to check out and my roommate was with me. We went to the next grocery store and I was zoning out and dissociating really badly. I only really remember him bringing me back into focus for the remainder of the grocery trip.

I never experienced a trauma response quite like this. It doesn’t make sense he was in my area as he lives 20 minutes south and there is another store of the same brand 10 min closer to him. I spoke with my friend who is experienced in trauma and trauma response and she told me that no, it makes sense you would react that way when he did not treat you like a human.

The problem is, I know this isn’t just a Washed Up issue, it’s an American workforce issue. I know that a lot of people have to deal with shitty bosses who are abusive. I come from a relatively abusive household that caused my c-PTSD, but I do not have severe reactions to my family as I do this man.

It took several hours for me to get back to baseline – and nearly 16 hours of sleep. So while you may be out of the toxic work environment or away from a toxic manager, you may still have a trauma response if the abuse is bad enough.

And I hope the people who work there learn that they need to not give a shit about the pay and report him for his abusive tactics.